Bushranger X-Jack review

So the other day I'm in the border lineup to enter the USA when a border guard suddenly approaches my jeep. He instructs me to roll down all my windows, shut off the ignition, and step away from the vehicle. Bewildered, i asked if he was joking? He was not. So I'm standing off to the side of the jeep looking innocent and I notice two officers concentrating their efforts on the bumper and grill area; and then I instantly realize why. A few days earlier i had picked up some dog waste in one of those little bags and then thrown it on the front bumper as there was not a garbage can readily available. Well I forgot it there. The border guards had noticed the plastic bag tucked behind my winch and were under the impression that I was attempting to smuggle in some sort of contraband. Excited about their find they began to taunt me with the bag asking me what was in it. In as few words as possible I told them. "Dog shit". Well apparently that was not a plausible explanation. They momentarily fumbled with the knots in the bag before getting it open and then the original guard stuck his hand in the bag. Oh my God! I could not F-wording believe a border guard had just put his hand in a bag of dog shit. He stirred it around with his gloved finger a bit and then a very quizzical, very disapproving look befell his face. "What kind of person keeps dog shit on his bumper?" he asked sternly. All I could do was shake my head and await imprisonment. Nothing i could have said would have changed the fact that he had just sifted through a bag of poo. An eternity of discussion and disgust followed, but alas, the only real penalty I faced was a stern lecture about storing dog shit on my bumper. True story.

Speaking of bags of shit- I recently was given a Bushranger X-jack as a gift and thought I would share my thoughts about it.

The X-jack intrigued me upon receiving it. The first thing I noticed was how big it was, the second was how much it weighed. As I hauled it out into the garage I was already trying to think of a place to store it in the Jeep. For the record, there wasn't one. It did fit nicely between the rear roll bar and hardtop before initial use, but once it has been unpackaged it will not stuff back into the same place. It was a lot like every pair of jumper cables that has ever existed anywhere since the dawn of time.

As I do with every purchase, I took it for a test run at home before needing to rely on the X-jack in the field. I took it out of the storage bag and hooked it up to the jeep exhaust. The process was a bit awkward but it was unfamiliar so I didn't mind the hassle. I did however mind when the Jack filler nozzle kept falling off the exhaust tip and wouldn't fill the jack. I rigged up an exhaust keeper strap but soon found that the pressure created was to much for my setup to handle. Fumes started creeping out of every breach in my Jeep's exhaust system. While that is not the X-jack's flaw directly, I do believe it would be a common problem for most guys who have banged their rigs around on the trail and in the rocks. After that I tried to fill the jack using my onboard air. It was a slow, painful process with little results; like trying to talk your wife into having a threesome. Once filled, the jack just doesn't have the range to lift a modified Jeep high enough to accomplish anything. It's also not as easy to stuff the body of it somewhere where it can safety lift the vehicle. That problem would be greatly amplified in a real world scenario where your jeep was stuck in deep snow or mud. If you can get it placed and inflated properly, you still have to monitor its action. There are many dynamic steps to its operation. It's extremely hard to do solo unless you happen to be, or at least have met Chuck Norris. Besides not really being effective at what it was designed to do, it doesn't offer the user any addition benefits either. Jesus, a Tampon has a greater degree of versatility. An X-jack can only do one thing and it does it poorly in my opinion.

The X-jack looks great in print. The brochure features a text book recovery of a stock height vehicle in virtually perfect conditions. But thats on paper. To the modified Jeep owner who is actually stuck, the X-jack is basically equivalent to a $250 bag of shit. Its cost versus weight versus application stats will find it well behind its competitors on the "must have" lists of jeep enthusiasts. It nows lives in my shed, cloaked in its original packaging, waiting to be re-gifted this coming holiday season. Maybe to my dad. He's not particularity familiar with the internets and is not likely to read this review. Merry Christmas dad- here's a big, bright orange bag of poop. I hope you like it more than the Border Patrol liked theirs.